Letter For Help
Sloane 3yo & Declan 4yo - Alvar
Please help my two young children before it is too late! This is a mental health crisis, and their lives are at stake. They were taken by their mother on July 2nd 2024 who suffers from a mental health disorder.
I am appealing to anyone and everyone I can that is responsible for their safety. If you were not aware of their situation, you are now and now have become liable. If you have been aware, you have always been liable.
We are told if we see something, say something. I have been saying something for over five months now and no one is listening. I need help from anyone willing to step up and help me. Our system has failed my family and to be honest, failed many families when struggling with mental health. This is not a singular one-off event. We have laws and procedures that need to change and need to be created so people suffering from mental health are not able to continue their abuse. The courts and law enforcement allow it to happen since our current laws don’t allow them to consider the mental health disorder when deciding cases. They don’t realize a person with a mental health disorder can have multiple personalities. They can switch personalities from one minute to the next. They don’t have control over these personalities and therefore their statements don’t mean the same as someone without the disorder. In fact, their statements don’t mean the same to them from one minute to the next. We can’t all be treated the same when we don’t have the same mental health. We can’t all be judged the same in court when we don’t have the same mental health. I have been loud, but I’m going to get louder as I have been raising the red flag to no avail.
These children were taken by their mother Amy. This is not her fault. This is our systems fault. She has endured a lifelong struggle with mental health due to suffering extreme childhood trauma by the hands of both of her parents. Her father pled guilty when she was fifteen to sexually assaulting her starting at the age of six. She didn’t tell anyone until she was fourteen. She then went on to continue to suffer at the hands of her mother who also suffers from mental health. This continued well into her thirties from the moment I met her. Just one example of the trauma was her mother blamed her for her father being removed from their family when he was arrested and removed from their home for sexually assaulting her. Imagine enduring those acts all those years only to be left with a mother who blames you for what happened. Very sick. Jealous of your daughter because your husband would rather give her attention then you. This is the “safe” family she was left with. No help from extended family. No help from our government, our system, left to the “safety” of her mother. A kid doesn’t understand this. A kid doesn’t know the difference. A kid doesn’t have a choice. This kid didn’t have a chance, and it still affects her at forty-two years old. You don’t have to take my word for it. Here is a police report between Amy and her mother. These two events happened when we were first together, in the beginning of 2016. Although, I didn’t know this happened until August of 2024.
54 - 2016 04 16 16082761_Police Report: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/pxv2ov65tvomk8a31k2t1/54-2016-04-16-16082761_Police-Report.pdf?rlkey=xgmbpr894gxamwdhwu52q46yk&dl=0
Again, I do not blame Amy. I blame our system as we allow intergenerational abuse to continue as our system is proving it to me now. We need to treat the trauma, follow up on the treatment as the trauma doesn’t just go away, and come up with a way to track red flags from these individuals to make sure the intergenerational abuse ends with them. Imagine if we could prevent the abuse from continuing, the victims of the trauma would have a safe fulfilling future, and their children would be also free of the trauma. It is also known that a large majority of inmates in our prison system suffer from mental health. If we could do a better job of treating mental health, we would reduce the need for our prison / court systems and would have a new generation of children free from the trauma. So rather than just doing the status quo and repeating this failing process, let’s change it.
For example, for over five months our system has allowed Amy to continue the intergenerational abuse that she grew up with to continue with my children. This is not just a local issue. It’s statewide and even national issue as the sad truth is every night in the news it is repeated. A recent similar situation occurred in Dakota County, MN where the mother had just gained custody of her six-year-old son then shoot him nine times while strapped into his car seat. We need to stop these tragedies before they happen, we need to open our eyes.
Link to this story: https://www.kare11.com/article/news/investigations/kare-11-investigates-eli-hart-child-red-protection-failures/89-a0878e1a-f655-48bc-96ce-b25114aef1ac
This still rings true today in Minnesota as we have not learned from past mistakes! “The case worker was employing a very narrow view of child protection and of child safety,” Wilson said. “She seemed to think the only function of child protection was to ensure this child’s immediate physical safety.”
Exactly! As I told my kids guardian ad litem, “Jeffrey Dahmer didn’t eat people in front of other people”. I told her this after she spent a total of one visit with Amy and the kids for less than two hours and said, “I don’t have any concerns with Amy”. I don’t know what she expected to see but without a full proper investigation of all evidence you may not see the issue. It’s not like they don’t know they need to be on their best behavior during these visits. With a mental health disorder, we need to change how we investigate child safety.
I need to prevent this tragedy from happening to my family so here’s an abbreviated list of what’s going on. I am also being 100% transparent so there is no question about it:
1. Amy has a history of emotional and physical outbursts. She has physically assaulted me several times. The last one was on July 2nd 2024. This incident started because Amy was screaming at our two-year-old to take a nap and as I tried to step in to help the situation, she became both verbally and physically violent with me. After, she told me she was leaving with our kids, and I told her no she wasn’t leaving with the kids in the state she was in. That’s when I found out as an unmarried father I didn’t have custody of my kids. I had no choice; she was going to take them no matter what. It was at that time I told her I would be petitioning the court for custody. After hearing this she left with the kids, and I hadn’t seen them for over five months.
2. The next day July 3rd when she came back without the kids to retrieve some items, I called law enforcement to report an assault on me from the day before. They arrived, investigated, as I had injuries to my face, split lip from my teeth almost going through my lip when she hit me in the face. She claimed to have a bruise on her knee, to which the officer writes in his report that when she showed him the bruise on her knee “it wasn’t visible”. This was a whole day later. He also asked her if she had any other injuries and she said “no, I don’t think so”. She also admitted to witnesses and on the stand in court that she hit me and that I hadn’t hit her. There is also an audio recording of her describing how she hit me hard as I had blood filling my mouth and nose.
Here is the police report: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/26cx00s13gjvpzgum8vnu/73-2024-07-03-24092134_Police-Report.pdf?rlkey=02cjzh7bn9lvfr6xme2x112la&dl=0
3. I followed up with the St. Louis County Sheriff’s Deputy about two weeks later to get a copy of the police report as the county didn’t have a record of it yet. He stated that he just submitted it and had advised the district attorney office to charge both of us with assault. His reasoning is Amy had a story of self-defense and a story of alleged abuse by me. So here I am, a man and I reported a domestic assault on me. With evidence that it happened as the deputies saw my injury, noted it in their report and had photographs. With testimony as you can see from the police report that Amy states she hit me. She stated she hit me and then I held her down, contrary to self-defense. Amy has “no visible injuries” per law enforcement but hey want to charge me with assault as well. Good police work St. Louis County Sheriff’s Deputy.
4. I follow up with the St. Louis County, MN District Attorney’s office and they state that they would not be pursuing charges due to the lack of evidence. It’s a he said, she said. Good police work St. Louis County District Attorney’s office as well. Lack of evidence? Nope, a man reported domestic violence, and you ignored it.
5. My next step was to petition the court for custody of the kids and get them back. I had to request the official recognition of parentage forms from the Minnesota Department of Health so I could submit them to the court with the petition for custody. I received the request forms on July 5th, I had them notarized and submitted on July 6th. I paid for expedited service and shipping so I could petition the courts asap.
6. On July 16th I received the official recognition of parentage forms so I could now petition for custody.
7. On July 17th I was served from the St. Louis County Sheriff’s department an emergency ex parte order for protection for the incident on July 2nd. The very incident that I called law enforcement to report. The kids were also included in this emergency ex parte order for protection.
8. So now my custody petition is roadblocked. Good work Amy. But Amy can’t take all the credit. Come to find out she has Justice North (legal aid) and Safe Haven (woman’s rights advocate) helping her take this on. They are pros at using our system and taking advantage of it. Amy filed the emergency OFP on July 10th. The request included a false statement of previous domestic assault charges in the year 2019. She also stated that law enforcement didn’t investigate the July 2nd incident and included a long history of false allegations.
9. Even though the request for the OFP is entirely false and includes blatant incorrect statements. The Sixth Judicial Court of Minnesota, Judge Shawn Pearson approves it on July 12th.
10. With an emergency OFP no one calls you and asks anything. It is completely one sided. To start, if Safe Haven had called and asked me what happened they could have investigated and looked at police reports and realized there’s more to it than Amy’s narrative. They could have taken her mental health into account. Of course they’re not going to do this. They don’t care. All they care about is they have a woman claiming abuse and the game is on. They need domestic abuse against woman. If they don’t have it, they lose their jobs and everyone goes home. Imagine that. No more domestic abuse. You would think they would be happy as advocates but no, obviously they will do whatever they can to take on a case. Even if it’s based on false allegations and due to the mental health of the woman. No matter how hard I’ve fought them, they have fought back just as hard. They don’t know me, they don’t know Amy, they don’t know my family, they don’t know the truth, they don’t care and because of that they support domestic violence, and they support child abuse. They support the very abuse to men that they claim to protect woman from and by doing so have subjected my children to continued abuse by their mother. Fact.
11. St. Louis County / Judge Shawn Person could have followed up with me and I could have told him there was no such case in 2019 and that law enforcement did investigate the July 2nd incident, and he could have reviewed that information when making his decision. Did he call, no. Of course not. My rights can be removed just like that because of a false allegation. One thing he could have done though is followed up on the alleged domestic abuse case from 2019 that didn’t include a case number on his own. Did he do that? If so, what did he think when he saw there was no such case? No, he didn’t investigate because it was included in the final order. Did he request any information from the sheriff's office regarding the July 2nd incident even though Amy and Safe Haven stated law enforcement didn’t report on it? I would assume no. He took their word for it. Proven, again, as it was included in the order. As far as I can tell there is zero investigation when it comes to the allegations included in the request for an emergency OFP.
12. With the OFP I was removed from my home that I paid for, my children were taken from me, I was not allowed to speak to Amy to try and work through this. This has also cost me an incredible amount of time and money. It cost Amy nothing. She has Justice North paying her legal bills, Safe Haven providing her other support and the State of Minnesota supporting her financially. Of course, the State is now after me to start making payments for her. What? Really? How does this work? She physically attacked me. She ran off with my kids. I must defend myself while I’m trying to save my kids. I’m trying to get Amy the treatment she needs.
13. One thing I’ve realized through this whole ordeal is the fact that and OFP is really just another piece of paper saying you can’t break the law. Laws that are already in place. You can’t assault someone, abuse someone, you can’t injure their pets, you can’t destroy someone’s property, etc. It’s really nothing new because if you did any of these things without an OFP you would be charged with a crime. Just like you would with an OFP. But what happens with an OFP is you have your rights taken from you without the ability to defend yourself. My home and family were taken from me without due process. I was found guilty of crimes without being able to defend myself and needed to prove my innocence. Rather than being innocent until proven guilty, you are guilty until proven innocent. Do you understand how much effort and cost is involved in defending yourself from false allegations? Do you know how much abuse my children have been subjected to in this amount of time? Legally my hands are tied to the timeline of our courts. Which are so slow.
14. This allowed Amy to get a leg up on me for the custody case. For one, it was basically put on hold until the OFP case was figured out. It allowed her to remove the kids from my care and make it appear as she was the parent that cared for them. When in fact, before she took them I cared for them just as much, if not more than she had. She would actually get upset with me because they wanted me more than they wanted her. By her taking them away from me she has been able to subject them to continued abuse and get them to the point that they don’t want anything to do with me and are scared to death of me.
15. We had our first hearing on July 23rd. Which was just a hearing to plead:
a. Admit the allegations in the petition and affidavit and agree to the Order for Protection with findings of domestic abuse;
b. Agree to the issuance of the Order for Protection without any findings of domestic abuse; or
c. Deny the allegations in the petition and affidavit and request an evidentiary hearing.
16. I am innocent so of course I was going to plead c. and deny the allegations. But when I was at the first two hearings a person from the courts came to me while waiting for the hearing to start and presented me with paperwork to sign stating that b. I would agree to the issuance of the order for protection without any findings of domestic abuse. He did so in such a way as to claim that it was the best thing for me to do. I questioned him stating, I’ve never committed acts of domestic abuse to anyone so why would I sign that. He kept at it pressuring me to sign it as it was the best thing for me to do. It felt like he was giving me legal advice to do so as I didn’t have an attorney at this time. Both times I told him no, I would not sign that and would not be changing my plea as I was innocent. Plus, my children were included in the OFP at that time. I’m just going to agree to something I didn’t do and lose my kids? No.
17. After both of these exchanges it truly felt like the court was trying to get me to keep quiet with regard to the this case and just go along with it. I’m not sure why they would do that unless they were trying to cover up the fact that they should have never approved of the emergency OFP in the first place, and they were trying to pressure me into going along with agreeing to it without fully realizing the legal implications I would have found myself in if I had signed that form. It wouldn’t have been in my best interest to sign it. This practice should be illegal. I believe the Minnesota Court of Appeals has overturned cases because of this practice. If so, it’s still going on. I have four additional witnesses.
18. Our first evidentiary hearing was supposed to be on August 7th, but Amy requested a continuance due to an alleged OFP violation on July 25th. This alleged OFP violation was at an address located six miles away from where Amy stated in all paperwork, hearings and within all court documents as her address. She had never once stated this location was her address. It was her friend Billie’s home. A person I’ve gotten to know well over the years. I was on my way to talk to her to ask her to keep an eye on my kids and Amy to make sure they were safe as I was worried about their safety. Especially since I had just submitted the petition for custody of the kids that day. I was worried about how she would react once she received it as I was petitioning for 100% physical and legal custody of our kids. When I got to her friend’s address, I was about to pull into the driveway but noticed Amy standing about 20ft from the road walking back to the house. The trash can was at the street and I assume she was bringing trash to the can and walking back. As soon as I saw her, I stopped turning into the driveway and kept driving down the road as she turned to see me. This is in the country on a dead-end road, so I had nowhere to go but back the way I came. I parked at the end of the road for a bit to give her time to get to the house. I then drove back past the house to leave. I did the best I could in the situation and did not make contact with Amy. As I drove by, I could see someone crouched down taking pictures of me as I passed. Amys brother Ryan Schmidt did pursue me with his truck. At first, I had no idea who it was as I could tell someone was following me as they were making all the same turns as I was, etc. I wasn’t sure who it was or what their intention was. Once I saw it was him, I called him and asked him to have a beer with me so I could explain what had happened and hoped he would be willing to help me with Amy. I had tried several times to get him to help me as I thought he would do so, but she had filled his head with such a narrative of false allegations that he was too far gone to realize the truth. He also has issues as he grew up in the same household as Amy. To conclude, again, this address was six miles from where Amy said she was staying and as she said in her follow-up on the last page of the same report dated August 8th, she didn’t know if I knew she was staying there. Correct, I didn’t know. Just a little bit of investigating you can see it is not the address she has listed as it was not a confidential address on the OFP. She also truthfully stated that “I have been to that address many times in the past”. Correct, I’ve been there many times and was just going to stop by and talk to Billie. All this and the St. Louis County Sherriff’s office was looking to arrest me that night. What? Then they state they can’t find me, so they stop? As no more came from this. I do not get this. If they had found me that night I would have been arrested. Since they didn’t find me, I wasn’t. How is that proper law enforcement? Good police work again St. Louis County Sherriff’s Deputies. This is the same deputy that I reported the assault to on July 3rd. Is it a coincidence or is there something going on here? You can also see what Amy is willing to do to get me arrested.
Here is the police report: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/rk7wvgwbfdue8vafcgxwi/24105309_Police-report.pdf?rlkey=jbxjxp1bm3jm4ptvppegmylin&dl=0
19. Due to the continuance, our first evidentiary hearing was supposed to be on August 21st but once we started the proceeding it was immediately apparent that Amys attorney hadn’t properly submitted discovery to me as I hadn’t received exhibits they were trying to introduce into evidence. We ended up having to reschedule.
20. After this hearing I took my oldest daughter, a senior at the U of M, pre-med and both of my parents to a late lunch before my daughter had to head back home. They were all witnesses at the hearing. After being at the restaurant for one and a half hours we left and when we did, we exchanged hugs at the back of my truck. My father passed by my truck first and in doing so heard voices that he recognized. He looked over and it was Amy and the kids. The kids were still in the back seat of her car. She was standing outside next to the back door that was open. She looked at my father and they made eye contact as he walked to his car. My mother and daughter were walking in front of me as I reached my truck door. My mom yelled for me to stop and said Amy is right there. I looked up and she was standing across from me and Declan was standing on the ground outside of the car. She then picked him up and as she was holding him, they were both staring at us. She was looking at me while whispering in his ear. Based on my dad’s comments that the kids were still in the car when he walked by, she obviously took Declan out of her car after she saw him pass by her. Then she held him for me to see in front of my truck. I bought this truck brand new the year before I met her. We traveled full time for years and I had over 270,000 miles on this truck by the time she took my kids. It’s a black Chevy High Country with chrome trim and set up to haul our fifth wheel trailer with a hitch and water tanks in the bed. She knows this truck very well since almost all those miles were put on between the two of us and this truck stands out as not a usual truck. She knew what she was doing. All the while calling law enforcement to report and OFP violation on me. You don’t have to take my word for it. Here is the report: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/4jcj2v1jej9ya1qggrvi3/24121442-Ryan-Alvar-Request.pdf?rlkey=cm4igllgyhmqdjxdaj1izvndp&dl=0
As you can see, she claims I showed up in the same parking lot as her when I was already there for an hour and a half which my receipt that was uploaded into the case as evidence proved. I also had an adult daughter and both parents with as witnesses. I also never waived at Declan. When he looked at me, I hadn’t seen him since he was taken from me two months prior. As I was going to open my door and get in my truck, I put my hand to my chest in a gesture of “hi buddy”. This is my four-year-old son. He was taken from his father. He doesn’t know what an OFP is. He doesn’t know what an OFP violation is. He witnessed seeing his father for the first time in months stand across from him and not come see him, not give him a hug and not be there for him. What was he thinking about me? He had no control over this, his mother put him and I in that position on purpose to use him to get me arrested for an OFP violation and make me look bad regarding our current OFP case and my custody case that was put on hold.
That day I gave my testimony to the Duluth Police Department over the phone when they finally called. The next day I was called by an investigator and was told they were coming to arrest me. I pled for them not to. Three times I had to plead to not be arrested. I did nothing wrong. I walked out of a restaurant with my family to find Amy at my truck with my son. They didn’t care. They were going to arrest me. Three times he told me so. After some final pleading the officer agreed to contact the district attorney office and have them decide what to do. After some time, they called and said they were not going to arrest me that day but I was on the cusp and if I had another violation I would be arrested. Again, for walking out of a restaurant with my family. Good police work Duluth Police Department.
21. We had a second hearing on August 29th, a third and final hearing on September 11th and had to submit our written summations to the court by September 19th.
22. After it was all said and done the final order came out on October 23rd. Almost four months after my kids were taken from me. I didn’t have a judge overseeing my case, I had a referee, and she ordered the kids be taken off the OFP but kept Amy on it. She arbitrarily ordered that all evidence that proved my case actually refuted it and proved Amy’s case. See for yourself: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/pxfeyw5pkxk4otnnc2jes/KB-69DU-FA-24-464-OFP-After-Hearing.pdf?rlkey=nyew1zdjfslnbvz43uk66ey4a&dl=0
FYI, I have not stopped fighting this OFP that is based on false allegations. The referee threw out all hard evidence that proves my case and is only basing her decision on statements made by Amy and her witnesses. Amy who suffers from a mental health disorder and her witnesses who all admitted on the stand in cross examination that they have only witnessed me being loving and caring for my family. They did state that Amy had been telling them for years that I had been abusive to her. Even though they have never witnessed it and even though she has claimed the same false allegations on ex partners, her statement to them is not hearsay, it becomes a matter of fact because she told them this. How messed up is that. A person who is out of their mind can say anything, tell someone something and it becomes a matter of fact. What world do we live in?
I have requested to file a motion to reconsider to the district court and am waiting for their response. Depending upon the outcome of their decision I will be filing an appeal with the Minnesota Court of Appeals to right this wrong. I will not stop until this is overturned as I have never abused anyone let alone my own family.
Another strange fact is Amy was adamant that I’ve been very abusive to my children and that’s why they were originally on the OFP. The court found that information untrue because of the testimony from my adult child. What would have happened if I didn’t have an adult child to speak for their young siblings that couldn’t speak for themselves? My guess is they would still be on the OFP. Also, the court rejected her false allegations of domestic assault on the kids but not her. What’s the difference? She can lie about the kids but not herself? I don’t understand how an arbitrary decision like this can be made. It is not at all scientific.
23. We finally started the custody case on September 17th. This was just an initial case management conference where the same referee that is on the OFP case requested we perform an SENE evaluation. I was hesitant to waste time performing this task knowing that we will not come to an agreement as I will not settle on anything less than 100% physical and legal custody of these kids until Amy gets the help she needs to become a safe mother. For now, she is not willing to do that so us meeting with evaluators will only prolong the custody dispute as our first hearing will not get scheduled until the SENE is complete. I did agree to do it though since the court requested it and maybe there would be some favorable temporary outcome for me since I hadn’t seen the kids for two and a half months at that point.
24. We had our SENE on November 6th. We didn’t come to an agreement for permanent custody as I assumed but we did get a good outcome from the evaluation. First, I asked Amy if she would like to try and make herself look good for the custody case and allow me to see the kids. She was hesitant but came back with I could see them once a month at a supervised visitation center. Again, remember, I have a court order that states the court has no issue with me as their father. The only reason Amy has control over this situation is because I don’t have custody as an unmarried father in Minnesota.
I of course told her no to once a month. She came back with a final offer of three times a month. Since she said final offer I asked, how about once a week. She came back with okay but for only an hour and a half. So petty. I agreed as I don’t have a say in it.
The best news is that I asked her to get a psychological evaluation and she agreed to it. This is great because it is a psychological evaluation with collateral which means I will be involved in the discussion. Versus when I asked her to get therapy in 2018 to help her with her childhood trauma, she agreed to go but I just found out during discovery of our OFP case she was telling her therapist I was abusing her during our entire relationship. She was doing this versus getting the help she needed. Because of her mental health disorder, she is unwilling to get the help she needs on her own and that’s why I started the custody processes in July because I realized at that time, I needed help from the courts for my family as I was unable to do it on my own. During the evaluation with collateral, she can’t lie and hide behind her false allegations. Plus rather than a therapist it is performed by a psychologist. This is now in the court order as you can see: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/uq491nyn4difwwa5n4l58/ENE-AGREEMENT-Alvar-Schmidt-signed-002.pdf?rlkey=xhtznsau2z6xv81ma0qv6k5sd&dl=0
As you can see I agreed to attend an anger management class as part of her requirement. I agreed to get her to sign it although I disagree that I should not get angry when being assaulted, removed from my home and having my children taken from be on false allegations. I have a right to be angry and will continue to be so until this wrong is righted. Also, I took a 16-hour class rather than an 8-hour class to show that I am serious about these kids. The main thing I learned is that anger is a natural, normal emotion and there are times when it’s justified. That’s what I always thought. Good to know I was right all along.
I also agreed to no alcohol consumption within 24 hours before seeing the kids. In Amy’s original request for an emergency order for protection she had no concerns in this regard when she answered question #20 - Do you want Respondent to attend counseling, treatment, or other social services? She answered, No. So now she’s trying to pile it on as she’s going to do whatever she can to try and make me look bad. I agreed to this requirement as I don’t have an issue or any concerns regarding this requirement as I’ve never had a drug or alcohol addiction. Although it did raise an eyebrow for the kid’s guardian ad litem during our last meeting. So yep, the games do have an effect.
25. Even though we signed this agreement on November 6th and it became a court order Amy dragged her feet in allowing me to see the kids. Every week the visitation center had availability; Amy had excuses not to bring the kids. She even told the kids guardian ad litem that she didn’t want to bring the kids to visit me because the kids were scared of me. It finally got to the point to where I threatened to bring her back into court due to not following the court order. The very order she agreed to. On December 4th she finally stated I could see them the following Wednesday, one week later. I said no, it was going to happen this week and if not we were going back into court. So exactly one month after signing the agreement I was going to see the kids on December 6th. This week also marks the fifth month since I have seen the kids besides the time I saw Declan in August when Amy tried to set me up with an OFP violation.
26. Right after agreeing to the visitation center on November 6th, we both attended orientation and signed their required forms. But on the afternoon of December 5th Amy decided to add a couple of requirements. The first requirement is that I couldn’t give the kids gifts and if I did I would have to take them back at the end of the visit. The reason I asked this is because I hadn’t seen my three-year-old daughter Sloane since she was two years old and there were gifts from family members for her. I wasn’t going to give them anything from myself as I don’t trust Amy not to destroy any gifts and throw them in the trash. But since she made this requirement, I wasn’t going to give the kids anything as I will not give a four- and three-year-old a gift just to take it back. Her second requirement was that I couldn’t take pictures or videos of the kids during our visit. Again, this came up the afternoon before our planned visit. I didn’t respond to emails or phone calls from the visitation center regarding this as I had already signed the required forms, we had a court order in place and the visit was already planned so I was going to attend based on those documents and not these added demands from Amy.
I arrived to the visitation center early and had a discussion with them regarding these added demands. I told them that I would not be signing new forms or agreeing to the additional demands and would proceed with the visit per the court order and already agreed upon terms. If Amy has an issue with that, she would need to petition the court and change it. If she failed to allow the visit because of that I would be calling law enforcement. The visitation center understood and went out to let Amy know.
27. After waiting for awhile in the waiting room I could hear little voices. It was Declan and Sloane and I could hear them all excited and asking questions in the other room about all the toys and what they could play with. All of a sudden the door to the waiting room opened and it was Jen from the visitation center with Declan and Sloane. They walked around the corner and saw me. Guess what?!?!?
They both looked at me and hid behind Jen. This is a woman they have never meet before. They were hiding behind her afraid of their father who five months before were more comfortable with me, rather than their own mother. We walked out into main area and Jen tried to get the kids to play but they just ran and hid. They were telling me that I was bad and icky and they didn’t want to play with me. Here is an audio recording of the first six minutes: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/ie60uhiyn5zq4t7bljmg4/120624-Visitation.mp4?rlkey=cd06wd2w7y5qa967nyriy5z0s&dl=0
This continued for the next one and a half hours. Again, the last time I saw Slone she was two years old. She talks so much now. She has grown up so much. When I last saw her she didn’t even use the words she uses now but she had no problem speaking out about me. So scared to death of me. Clearly saying no about playing with me, clearly saying I was bad and yucky. She cried when Jen tried to get her to play with me. Declan did the same. So scared and he cried too. Again, they were crawling up a stranger to get away from me rather than be with their father. The father that has a court order stating the court didn’t have an issue with him being a father to these kids and that the allegations of child abuse from Amy were false. But because she took them from me over five months ago and has alienated them from me they are scared to death. You can hear in the recording I had the center call law enforcement due to their actions. If they had been apprehensive about me because it had been so long that would have been one thing but they cried and were so scared of me while stating I was bad, etc that it proves Amy is emotionally and mentally abusing these kids. She is telling these kids I’m bad and to stay away from me. Why else would they act and say such things? Obviously, she is doing this to make it look like I’m abusive but it proves she’s the abusive one. Just like the abuse she suffered from by the hands of her parents. When it was all said and done I didn’t get to spend any real time with these kids. It was horrible. Law enforcement arrived and I asked them to report it to child protection services. The visitation center was going to do the same. Btw, child protection services was already involved with this case but closed their file months ago. Good work child protection services. I have visitation set up for the next two Wednesdays, December 11th and 18th and I don’t expect they will go much better but we’ll see. I will not give up on these kids until they are removed from their mothers care. It’s too bad I have to do this on my own while fighting the State of Minnesota, Sixth Judicial Courts, Amy’s attorney, City of Duluth, St. Louis County, Safe Haven and Justice North. It should not be this hard to protect two little kids!!!
Also, here are the last two social media posts Amy had on Facebook for my birthday and father’s day just before she took off with these kids. These comments are Amy's and look at my kids with me and tell me before she took off with them that they were scared to death of me, or thought I was bad. No, I’ve never had any of my kids act this way around me. Never.
Tell me this isn’t child abuse.
Per these MN Statutes it is:
28. After leaving the visitation center on December 6th, I decided to head up to Amy’s uncle Ray’s house as I had a few things that Amy wanted. Mind you, I bought these items, and they are mine, but she wanted them, I didn’t care so I told her she could have them. This has been an ongoing ordeal to try to give them to her. She is doing everything she can with the help of her family and attorney to make it impossible. Here is our last conversation on the matter: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/m1hf5nc4ss3duduzm2ryq/FW_-69DU-FA-24-551-Alvar-and-Schmidt.pdf?rlkey=yc1i144b16pr8uodwi4qjvl2b&dl=0
As you can see our last communication was the Monday before, December 2nd, where I told Amy’s attorney that I would ask her Uncle Ray if he would help us with the transfer. I did just that while I was in Duluth. He said yes, he said I could put everything in his front garage and asked if I had it with me. I said no, as I wanted to talk to him first and ask him if it was okay. He said yes, it’s okay and I left to go get the stuff. I had to go to two different storage locations and dig the items out in the cold, so it took me awhile to do so. When I had almost returned, I got a call from the police department. They gave me some confusing information and said I probably shouldn’t go to Rays house as Amy’s brother Ryan Schmidt was there. I was confused as he wasn’t there when I had just been there. I had talked to Ray and he said it was okay. I said I was almost there and was going to drop the stuff off as we agreed to. Plus, Ryan Schmidt has nothing to do with this. When I got back to Rays house Ryan Schmidt had the driveway blocked with his truck. So, I parked at the end of the driveway and started unloading everything so I could bring it up into the garage where I was told I could put it. While doing that Ryan Schmidt comes out and confronts me. Try’s attacking me, ends up hitting me in the face and leg with a chair. When it was all said and done two officers arrived and I pack everything back up and bring the items back to storage. The Duluth Police Department refused to write a report on Ryan Schmidt’s actions that day. Another good job DPD.
Come to find out when I left Ray’s home to go get the items for Amy, Ray called Amy and told him what we were doing. Amy called her brother Ryan to confront me. Again, the previous Monday I told her attorney what I was doing. I asked Ray and he said yes. If he had said no, I would have said okay and left. These items were mine, not hers. I’m giving them to her because she wants them. But when I try to give them to her, she sends her brother to confront me. The whole time he’s trying to get me to hit him. He’s getting in my face. He was saying the nastiest things about my family, my deceased brother and my parents as he was obviously trying to get me to react. I did no such thing as if you saw this kid you would realize he is not a threat. After I stopped unloading my truck, I stood there waiting for the police to arrive as I knew they were on their way. Also, I have the whole exchange recorded. I’m not going to post it now as I really don’t want my family to have to hear what Ryan Schmidt was saying and I’m not sure if Amy’s Uncle Ray’s family would like to hear what he was saying about Amy. It’s apparent that once Ryan Schmidt got there, he obviously turned his uncle on me but for some unknown reason he was saying some nasty things about Amy. Which I don’t understand. Another reason this was odd is I have spent a fair amount of time with this aunt and uncle of Amy’s. Aunt Rose isn’t doing the best and Amy wanted to see her as much as she could when we were around, so we did. Every time we were there, they mentioned how their nephew Ryan Schmidt never calls or visits and they can’t remember the last time he was over for a visit. So, it was unusual as I was dropping some stuff off for Amy he had to come over to confront me. This is the family that has abducted my children. This is the only family they have right now as they have been taken from me and my family. This is why I need help.
Anyway, Ray, as you can read in my exchange with Amy’s attorney, your family said you have mental health issues. On the other hand, I defend you. I will no longer ask for your help. A message for your immediate family would be, I found you all to be very nice people and you reminded me a lot of my family. I understand your reluctance to help me but the problem I have is with the Schmidt family and not yours. I have the upmost respect for your family. After all these years you know what I’m dealing with from the Schmidt family and if you would be willing to help me and my kids in any way, I would appreciate it. As we need all the help we can get to end this cycle of abuse the Schmidt family has continued for generations. I know you understand.
29. Believe it or not but I have an arraignment on December 17th for another alleged OFP violation: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wys6c8g7dk4n9866ntvtg/11-14-24-9110.pdf?rlkey=lf309mqtkem8xj2evh56xmhye&dl=0
This will be the third one. I have Google timeline activated on my phone so I had to call the Duluth Police Department to understand what was going on as my phone shows I wasn’t even in the City of Duluth that day. Come to find out there is an emoji on Amy’s Instagram account that says “100” and I allegedly sent it to her. What? I’m being charged with a crime for an emoji that I didn’t even send. Here it is:
I’m assuming Amy lives in the City of Duluth and that’s why they are charging me. She used Safe Haven’s address for the citation which was really confusing at first. Yep, this is what my life has been reduced to. All from false allegations of domestic abuse which started from an incident I reported. I was refused help from St. Louis County Sheriff’s office and the St. Louis County District Attorney’s office but weeks later the Sixth Judicial District of Minnesota had no problem with approving an emergency ex parte order for protection on me. This is wrong, this is illegal, this is child abuse, and it needs to end now.
Speaking of Amy living in Duluth, Sloane has never lived in Duluth and Declan only lived in the Duluth area for the first year of his life. We lived in the area as Amy wanted to be close to family and friends when we had Declan as he was her first born. After that first year we moved to Minneapolis and had never returned to Duluth except to visit family and friends. She is now trying to establish Duluth as these kids’ residence and it will be another fight to remove them from the area as I don’t live in Duluth or intend to.
Another fact to establish Amy’s mental health is she claimed domestic abuse by me, but she has cut off my entire family from her life, including Delcan and Sloane’s. She has alienated their older siblings Haven and William as she cut them off as well. She also cut off my parents, my siblings (the kids aunts and uncles) and many cousins that they were close with. If her issue is with me, why did she cut off everyone else? Besides cutting ties between the kids - Haven, William, Declan and Sloane, Amy cut off herself from her step kids Haven and William as well. Again, why would she do that? These are her step kids that have never done anything to her. She has been their second mom, or she would call herself, bonus mom to these kids for half of their lives. The second half, which is mostly the only half these kids remember. She dropped these kids like it was nothing. How is this not a red flag of her mental health?
As I’ve been saying since this started, I have never abused anyone let alone my own family. But I am guilty. I am guilty of sticking around and trying to help Amy throughout our almost nine-year relationship. I have always loved her and tried to help her as I didn’t totally understand what she was going through but always hoped she could overcome it. As it turns out because I stuck it out, the music has stopped, and I’m left without a chair. To be honest, if I knew then what I know now I would have done some things differently. Just because I understand more about what she is going through than I did before. But I still wouldn’t have left her.
Also, at every opportunity I have asked the court to provide me with temporary custody of these kids as there is a recognition of parentage on file so they could do so if they wanted. But every time I have asked (at every court appearance) the court (referee) has stated she was not ready to make a ruling on that yet. For over five months. With all the evidence shown and even the courts taking the kids off the OFP. Nothing.
Based on this and this whole process it is my opinion that these organizations support domestic violence against men and support child abuse. After reviewing my case how else would you explain it?
State of Minnesota
Sixth Judicial District of Minnesota
St. Louis County, MN District Attorney’s Office
St. Louis County, MN Sheriff’s Department
City of Duluth Police Department
Safe Haven
Justice North
I am going to continue to reach out to everyone I can to help me and my kids. Everyone listed below my signature line is responsible for what is happening, and all are liable for the safety of these kids.
I understand not everyone, especially legislature, can get involved with judicial proceedings but I at least need your help to help change our current laws when it comes to mental health. We cannot continue to put children’s lives at stake when it comes to a parent with a mental health disorder, and we need to do more to prevent false allegations of domestic abuse to prevent child abuse. Example, we have laws on the books where perjury is a crime but what I have found, it is only charged when it has been found to be used against the government and very rarely in civil proceedings. If there was a precedent in civil court where perjury was charged, that would reduce filing reports of false allegations. Right now, there is no accountability and therefore no risk in doing so.
Regarding timelines, the custody case pretrial is scheduled for February 28th, 2025. This started July 2nd, 2024. There is no way these kids can be subjected to this abuse any longer, much less for the time it will take to conclude this case. We need help now!
I am also making as many news outlets as possible aware of my situation to put a spotlight on my children and their safety. As we need to change so we can stop saying there were red flags but…
You can visit www.ryanalvar.com for more information as this is my main location for updates.
Regarding the OFP case here are links to the emergency ex parte order for protection, exhibits, summations, and final order that I am still fighting. As I stated I am being 100% transparent.
Emergency Ex Parte Order for Protection: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/7einfsef8zbr2wwmwuj9r/Emergency-Order-for-Protection.pdf?rlkey=wdgygjts5wzr13f7u5fxo2c5r&dl=0
Respondent Exhibits: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/46qktin1hupz7njy9ujsg/ACRAV0PdpHf6_0qVJO0wiZ0?rlkey=yhejwrzsx4hwc1j37qlez681q&dl=0
Petitioner Exhibits: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/xdbsrfsw9zoy7mule8dq8/AAzxNQYZra7X5zvK77-XCO8?rlkey=ozw28f9jy64bw1vxbu98gs4gp&dl=0
Respondent Summation: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/0pzrni0nrr3mf0f0xkfgk/091924-Respondent-Summation-69DU-FA-24-464.pdf?rlkey=dwazneg24bkq104cadoghq5md&dl=0
Petitioner Summation: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/msqd5zmrd5rxk91q2lfvi/Final-Argument-Schmidt-v-Alvar.final.pdf?rlkey=n4ce4qq9fjftqum5rpq6614cq&dl=0
I would welcome a chance to speak with anyone willing to listen to my story and who wants to help make a difference. Please contact me below as I would be honored to meet with you.
Thank you,
Ryan Alvar
651-707-6812
310 4th Avenue South
Suite 5010
Minneapolis, MN 55415
cc
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